Crunching Leaves

What do you like to do on Thanksgiving – besides visit with family and friends, and eat? (Cooking is mandatory for some of us!)

One of my favorite memories is the after-lunch/dinner hike. If you’re lucky, it takes you through the woods where you can scoot your feet along the ground and listen to the leaves crunch. I also remember raking the yard after we ate. Making huge piles of leaves that cried out to be jumped into! (more fun when you weigh 90 pounds than 290, unless the leaves are very, very deep!)

At times we collected the prettiest leaves and pressed them in books. Or ironed them between sheets of waxed paper to coat and preserve them. Or heavily colored their forms onto paper, then pressed the waxy pages with a hot iron.

Leaves. Red, gold, green, purple…The last woo-hoo of the season. Before everything. slows. down.

And bequeaths to us winter, the rebirthing zone, where all that we knew ceases to exist and what we hope for is not yet tangible.

It’s all there in the crunching.

Image by Joe from Pixabay

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Giving Thanks

Wouldn’t it be fun to see how long a list of things we’re thankful for we could make? Could you reach 10 without any effort? How about 100? If your life depended upon it, could you make a list that would reach out the door, or down the street, or across town?

When I hear others saying what they’re most grateful for, they usually mention family members, possibly friends. These are the biggies. What about the parking place you found right in front of the store on October 23rd? Or that pubic hair doesn’t accidentally sprout on your face?

There are mysteries in the human body and in the world that keep it remarkably organized, in spite of chaos theory – the idea that everything wants to implode, and it’s only by our Herculean efforts that it doesn’t.

I’m grateful for words and an aptitude for saying what I intend. And the Delete key. Which is why I’m more of a writer than a speaker, even though I love talking to groups. Editing is for me! A godsend. Literally.

The photo on this page is from a Thanksgiving with friends two years ago at the Elks’ Lodge in Sedona, Arizona. If you’re destitute, you go there for a free hot meal. If you’re not, you go there and make a contribution and eat. Or serve others, then eat. The two in the foreground are both writers whom I love.

I was privileged to sit across from a gentleman whom I learned was homeless, yet his manners spoke of a royal court. He stood and lightly kissed my hand when he introduced himself. I hope he felt as gallant as he acted during that all-too-quick lunch. He was a construction worker, living in his car and hopping job to job.  I listened intently, because he obviously had so much more to offer me than I him.

Two of my friends and neighbors are in the hospital this Thanksgiving. I’m sorry I don’t have time to visit them this special day in addition to hosting others. I’m grateful they’ll both be better soon.

What are you grateful for? What are you happy about that no one ever mentions? What’s the weirdest thing in your life you’re thankful for?

This morning I was contemplating how wonderful it is to have shoes that fit. And wood for the fireplace. Food in the fridge and pantry. Cleanliness. Good work habits. Toilets that flush. Pomegranates once or twice a year. A warm bed, even though it’s sometimes too hot. Ink cartridges.

I double-dog-dare you to make the longest list possible below. Go ahead. For what are you grateful? Say thanks by listing it…

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Does Your Cat Know You’re a Writer?

As I went outside around dawn, I heard a rustle in the brush, then deliberate footfalls moving away from me. Turning toward the sound, I quietly walked a few steps, listening. The crunches of leaves were close together…could be a javelina. But at this time of day, more likely deer.

There she was. She stared back at me so still, I had to blink to make sure the shape was not a clump of yuccas.

Hi Baby, I whispered, wanting to give our diminishing wildlife all the encouragement possible to visit often. I love you.

Mrs. Mule Deer indicated she wasn’t impressed, lowering her head and continuing to browse.

What do the animals around us think of us writers? What do they do that is similar to writing? Is it the poetry of their limpid eyes?

They certainly don’t afford us any greater respect than they proffer one another, the latter being a compliment.

That line of thought brought cats to mind. I don’t have a cat, but I’m sure if I did, it would sit in my warm office chair every moment I’m not sitting here, and transfer to my lap reluctantly, trading a sound surface for one that wiggles and leaps up without a moment’s notice.

Does your cat – or dog – respect your career?

Image by M Sudano from Pixabay

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Deep Words

There’s nothing to writing.  All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.  ~Walter Wellesley “Red” Smith

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Words as Skin

Oliver Wendell Homes, public domain, Wikimedia Commons

Oliver Wendell Homes, public domain, Wikimedia Commons

A word is not a crystal, transparent and unchanged; it is the skin of a living thought, and may vary greatly in color and content according to the circumstances and the time in which it is used.
~ ~ ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

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Words Alive

The Dickinson children;
Emily on the left.

A word is dead
When it is said,
Some say.
I say it just
Begins to live
That day.
~ ~ ~Emily Dickinson

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Washing Windows to See

The grapefruit is troubling me. The beautiful one the gentleman gave me Sunday for washing his windows. At first he held it toward me and gestured that I should come in and share it with him. “Peel it,” he said, pointing back and forth between us.

Recalling instructions that some residents would want to talk or press us into other service, I told him I couldn’t come in. (Besides, there were over 1000 windows to be washed. How long might that take?)

That’s when he insisted I take it.

Was that his only fruit? Was that a meal for him? Grapefruit have been over $1 each in the stores.

I read recently of a couple – in the same town as this man – who were overheard in the supermarket discussing produce. The man marveled “how wonderful” it would be to have a certain item. The woman reminded him they needed milk and couldn’t afford both. A teenage boy working in the produce department pulled a crushed fiver out of his pocket and pressed it into their hands. “Take it,” he said. “Buy that and enjoy it.”

Whenever I do eat that grapefruit, I’ll not halve it and spoon out the sections. No. I’ll peel it.

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Writing Mitzvah

A Mitzvah is the ultimate expression of how Judaism views religion. It’s not a specific time, place, or with a specific thing, when or where or with which one has a relationship with G-d. from Rabbi Dov Schochet


Sunday was Mitzvah Day in Northern Arizona, so proclaimed by Yavapai and Coconino counties as well as the City of Sedona where it was founded last year by Rabbi Alicia Magal – who lives walking distance from me – and Barbara Litrell, president of Keep Sedona Beautiful.

It was estimated over 300 participated, not all from our local town-opolis, but if they were, that would represent 2% of our Greater Sedona Area population of 13,000. That’s huge.

The team I was on all said, “We’ll do whatever needs to be done.” We were new to this. Thus assigned to wash windows and sliding doors for a low income project for elderly and disabled humanity in Cottonwood, Arizona. In about two hours, we washed approximately 100 windows or doors each.

No one I was with loved washing windows. Some of us hire professional window washers for our own windows. Our “good deed,” – to those of us who washed windows – included not picking something we loved to do. Not that any deliberately picked something we hated. But petting and combing a couple humane society cats for an hour isn’t the same running from building to building addressing the outsides of soiled windows not washed since this time last year.

Somehow this strange word miztvah became associated in my mind more than a decade ago with “doing a good deed that cannot be repaid.” Perhaps that was supposed to apply only to the deed at a Jewish funeral of crumbling a clod of dirt over an open grave. That person being sent away will not thank you.

I didn’t get why it was such a big deal to get in the line to crumble the dirt, letting it trickle down to the highly-varnished oak casket below. It seemed like protocol, and a very small act that was part of the deceased’s religion. It hardly left my hands dirty. “Cannot be repaid,” Ben’s words repeated in my head.

Still, I think of Mitzvah as the good deed that cannot be repaid. It doesn’t need to be connected to fun, or fellowship, though it may be. It doesn’t need to be connected to enjoyment, though it might. For me, it will probably always mean “pay it forward,” for you cannot repay me now.

I did accept a grapefruit from a gentleman. I love grapefruit, and those I’ve purchased lately haven’t been good. This one looked delicious. But that isn’t why I took it. I took it because the man needed to give it. So I accepted it as enthusiastically as I washed his sliding patio doors and windows. He needed to feel visible, important, part of commerce, perhaps even manly.

Like the other gentleman sitting in his porch rocker while I cleaned. I reached to shake his hand when I was finished. He refused. Until he could stand up – a difficulty that took a minute or two.

Oh no. Never shake the hand of a lady unless you stand. Maybe I’ll even get a hug.

I teased, “Oh you may not!” But I threw my arms around him before taking his right hand. I don’t like hugging strangers. I did it for him. And me. Because I needed to humble myself to his hand, his germs, his smells, his hug, his body. So it was for me. And it was good.

Do you write the thing no one will read…but you? Do you write when you will be misedited and misquoted? What do you write when you know a rejection letter will follow?

Must you get your hands dirty to speak your truth, from your heart? Do the uncomfortable. Ring doorbells and announce to partially present people that today is free window washing day, if they don’t mind please, thank you very much.

What is the good deed you do for yourself? Do you write when you’re too busy? Do you pour out your soul when you must write articles for business publications? Where do you closet your soul? Where do you comfort it, let it speak?

Wash your windows. Take a new view. Like the cat that stretched behind a newly-polished glass patio door and stepped forward, to join me on the porch before realizing the door was still closed but the view was better.

Perform a mitzvah for your soul. Do a good deed that reconnects you to your root. Like we used to say in religious school, at the end of each day. Mrs. Applegate would announce, “And now the Mitzvah.”

May the Lord watch
between me and thee
while we are absent
one from another.

What sustains your writing ‘reconnection,’ your absent part from your present part?

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Sustains Your Soul

I haven’t earned huge money from my writing. The fact that I’ve earned more than all the local writers I know (and there are many), except those who’ve won multi-book deals, keeps me going, seeking to earn a living and more.

Back “in the day,” when I wrote, edited and designed graphics for corporations (which always included marketing consulting), primarily in Los Angeles, I made a good living. I enjoyed the work. And occasionally I enjoyed the clients.

That, however, was not writing “to feed my soul.” Its purpose was to pay for my rent and car, and feed my body. Maybe some entertainment once a week or so.

My life partner and I made tremendous changes, both professionally and personally, when we moved to Sedona, Arizona, six years ago. She quit smoking. I quit prostituting myself for any online opportunity that promised money. She insisted. She wrote it on a Post-It note. Yellow. Still thumb-tacked to my office bulletin board:

The actual scribbled, now tattered, note that inspires me to share my scribbles and tatters with you.

The actual scribbled, now tattered, note that inspires me to share my scribbles and tatters with you.

SUSTAINS YOUR SOUL

It wasn’t a threat. It was a strong admonition.

Do what sustains your soul.
You will not be successful
(therefore I will never get to retire)
and you will not be happy
(therefore I will not be happy)
until you stop all other nonsense and do what feeds your soul.”

(How fortunate I am to have a partner who doesn’t just ‘support’ my inner self, but insists I also do another episode in the blog. Yes, I am truly blessed and thank God-Goddess-All-that-Is every single day for this wonderful person.)

What nourishes you?

I am not a proponent of doing what you love and ‘hoping’ the money will follow. If what you do is good, people will pay you for it. If you ask them. Or tell them. Or beg them. Bribery also works. (They won’t pay you if they don’t even know you’re doing it!)

Begging, borrowing and bribing without serving that which sustains you is greater foolishness.

I’m still learning this. I have many irons in the fire. Many interests. Forty-four domain names with one registrar, according to a call I received today. I keep pruning, trimming, adding, growing, pruning something else, adding something else – in that meandering human journey of following my heart. The best choices I’ve ever made have been the people I insisted on bringing into my life – or barging into their lives!

Now it’s the writing.

What shall I write? Do I care? I get to use words, and then delete them, edit them, refine them, learn to use better ones, blush over embarrassing ones I used before I knew what I know now, and dust myself off and go forward…writing again.

I like the keyboard. It took much practice to get over being distracted by the buzz of my IBM Selectric typewriter in the 70s. (I would turn it off while I thought, then turn it on and type quickly.) Now I cannot write by hand, because my thoughts flow in deep torrents and my pen is tied to the surface of the earth.

Admittedly, I’m still learning, following, meandering, thinking, praying, hoping, wishing, confiding, correcting, editing and writing, writing, writing.

What sustains your soul? Tell me.

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I Oughta Write a Book

82% of Americans plan to write a book someday.

–from a talk by Mark David Gerson on September 6, 2008.

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